A house of order is not my house. . .but maybe it could be?

Gary is frustrated with the fact that the kids don't listen to me when I ask them to clean up and do their chores. I get frustrated as well. The kids often pray that mommy won't be angry. What I don't get is that Gary gets angrier at them than I do and I am so much more patient, but they never pray for Dad to not be angry. Well, when you ask someone to do something in a kind and patient manner over and over . . .maybe ten. . .or fifteen times. . . . and they continue to pretend that you aren't really there or that you didn't really ask them or that you speak Greek or some other form of ancient language that no one can comprehend anymore. . .I know this is a run-on. . .than eventually the volume of your manner of speaking is going to increase. I think this has been proven scientifically. So I decided the other day that I wouldn't raise my voice after being ignored repeatedly and went about my day calmly while continuing to remind them kindly of their waiting chores. When dinner came, they all sat and ate and immediately after, I informed them that it was bedtime. They all protested immediately after checking the clock and seeing that it was only 6pm. I continued by letting them know that I was aware of the time and that it was indeed time for bed. If they chose not to get their chores done when I asked them to in a timely manner, than they would need their sleep cause I would be waking them up at the butt-crack of dawn to complete the chores they refused to do. So they all went to bed and the next day, I got them up and told them to get to work. It seems that when kids are told to clean a room with no specifications, it is too overwhelming for them. They can't figure out how to do it, where to start. So I always start them off by giving them something specific to do. Of course, they still fiddle-fart around and it takes them five times as long as it should, but eventually they get that specific job done. They can't seem to get past that, though, so they never really finish the whole room unless you tell them what to do next.

I wasn't supervising cause I was out late the night before and then Gary and I sat up, um, talking. So Gary was getting frustrated listening to them and I had gone back to bed and left them to be responsible for finishing the playroom. After an hour Gary informed me that he would be bagging up their toys in a trash bag and putting it away for a while. He went in there-and I have to say it wasn't very dirty to begin with and should have taken maybe 5 minutes if they both worked the whole time-and began throwing things away. They had picked up what I asked, but were playing and ignoring the rest of the stuff. He threw away the stuff they even picked up-all the legos!! They are not really gone but Gary wants them to believe that they are. He was trying to find something that he could throw away of Karly's to help it sink in with her and settled on a bag of crayons. He went into their bedroom and picked up things to toss and Tanner, very nonchalantly said,"I don't really like those toys anyway Dad." Gary kept his cool but this didn't sit well with him. As he went downstairs to "get rid" of the toys, I heard Karly start crying over her crayons. Kaleb told her,"Stop crying Karly, we're going to get in more trouble. It's just crayons." He was so brave about losing his prized possessions. I was proud of his attitude about it, though.

The next morning I got up with the kids and helped them clean up the whole upstairs -excluding my bedroom which is currently laundry and Christmas wrapping central-so that I could vacuum. It has been so nice walking up there and seeing clean rooms, playroom, hallway and even the bathroom isn't too bad! That night Gary and I had a talk about the chore situation. He asked if we could try something new. We have changed our strategy to Zone Defense! The kids are given an area of the house that they are responsible for, for 7 days. In that time, they have to make sure it stays clean. If it needs to be vacuumed, then they do it, if not, they don't need to. If someone else makes a mess in their zone, they need to get that person to clean it up or else they will have to. This is the basic explanation for the plan. Gary and I oversee and have the rest of the house. We just started but I am hoping it teaches them more responsibility and accountability on their part. Kaleb is doing pretty good but Karly has the kitchen and she is struggling. I had to do part of her job today while she was at school so that I could eat at the table. She will be getting an extra little chore this afternoon to make up for it. We'll see how it goes!